Big Rock Candy Health Care.

This Tele-Tubby-level Oregon PSA aimed at 20-somethings is The Left / Mainstream Media's wet dream of Obamacare. All that's missing are a few unicorns and Obama's radiant face as the sun.



Hey, hipsters - news flash: You were "free to be healthy" long before ObamaCare, but you had to pay for it yourself for it like real grown-ups. Grown-ups are the people whose house you moved back into after you finished grad school and the Starbucks cut your hours to part-time.

A Story That Is Sure To Generate, Um, A Lot Of Traction.

I predict this will be the most read article on the 'Net this week:

Yes, men really can make it longer: study.

Actually, I think this will be the most read article this month. No, wait... This year.

Sammy Hagar Tries To Out-Sheen Charlie.

Really:

Hagar laughs and goes on to explain that a passage in the book described as a dream in which he is contacted by aliens from outer space in California was, in fact, reality.

The tale describes how the beings tapped into his mind through a wireless connection.

"It was real," Hagar told the reporter, according to the story on MTV's Hive website. "They were plugged into me. It was a download situation ... Or, they uploaded something from my brain, like an experiment."

This, boys and girls, is why you should never, ever, ever, do drugs.

The Men Who Stare At Old Goats.

Did a US Army PsyOps team try to use mind-games to influence US Senators? I don't know if they did or not, but what I do know is this - if they did, the list of Senators targeted showed they didn't have much mental material to work with.

News Alert: Al Gore Has Been Sighted!

Really.

There's even a catchy theme song.

I Think I'll Skip McNuggets For A While.

Worker decapitated in chicken factory after being sucked into machine.