New York (RSR) - Sources at The Episcopal Church ™ Headquarters in New York said that the Rt. Reverend Katherine Jefferts-Schori, the Presiding Bishop of The Episcopal Church ™, almost deposed herself today. Deposition prevents a priest from saying Mass and removes their ordination.
Jefferts-Schori, who just this week deposed the Rt. Rev. Robert Duncan for holding traditional Christian views, was preparing 36 other depositions “as a precaution” and accidentally got the “To:” and “From” lines mixed up on one of them. “David (Chancellor David Booth-Beers) can’t stop laughing about it,” said Jefferts-Schori, “He’s been emailing me all day, inviting me into a deeper relationship with my spell-checker.”
Once the error was discovered, Jefferts-Schori convened an emergency meeting of the House of Bishops in her office and the deposition was rejected. Since only Bishops in attendance may cast ballots on depositions, the 1-0 outcome against the deposition conforms with Church canons, according to Booth-Beers.
The very real, and very tragic, deposition is here.
UPDATE 29SEPT08: Welcome Ship-of-Fools.com readers! Since some of you are wondering, let me say for certain that this IS satire. Really. And a specific note to Organ Builder: I'm a Southerner, and I own several hatchets AND a guns. So y'all don't rouse me from my cow-like state of politeness. (grin!!)
15 comments:
Too funny, Cliff!
Peace,
Pat Kashtock
Take It for What It's Worth
Thank you,
This is both a sad and a hopeful time for Western Pa Anglicans. You helped me laugh when I needed it .
May God Bless you
My husband and I needed a laugh this evening. That was awesome. :)
In a related event ...
WASHINGTON, D.C.---It was learned late today that the Episcopal Bishop of Washington, the Rt. Rev'd John Chane, fresh from suing to evict a respected homeless shelter from its new home at Gale School, inadvertently sued himself.
When informed by his advisers that the United States government frequently used a prestigious religious building for its own official public services, thereby violating the separation of church and state, the Episcopal Bishop of Washington ordered that lawsuits be filed again in his name without delay against the perpetrator who authorized such government-initiated services.
Chane vs Chane is set for trial later this year.
Before he could rectify his grievous error, the National Cathedral was sold at auction early this morning to Central Union Mission and will be turned into a homeless shelter.
bb
BabyBlue:
"Anglicans of the world, Unite! You have nothing to loose but your Chanes!!
"Weapon of mass conformity" indeed! The next thing we will hear about is a teacher of trigonometry arrested at the airport by DHS for attempting to board an airplane carrying a protractor, dividers, compass, assorted triangles, and a table of logarithms. He is to be charged with possessing and attempting to transport weapons of math instruction.
Blessings and regards,
Martial Artist
For The Win!
Hot Rod Anglican
"a deeper relationship with my spell-checker"...
Oh. My. Goodness. (What's the best way to extract coffee from the insides of a keyboard??)
Zana ... you don't extract the coffee ...
You merely "live into" your new reduced-functionality keyboard!
All Is Well!
My own 'Latrine' musings about ++KJS may be read here:
http://revdjordan.blogspot.com/2008/09/teccon-won-her-deed-is-done.html
Actually, Zana, you need to convene a House of Keys meeting and pass a resolution, affirmed by all keys eligible to vote (that is, all that are unstuck) to express regret that putting the coffee in the keyboard coffee may cause some keys to not feel in communion with the rest of the keyboard. SO what if the "J", "K", and "L" keys are absent? It's a new thing. Live into it. Besides, you can.... a_ways use your spe__ che_er.
I hope you do know that it is official that "Spell Check is hear two stay!"
Martial Artist:
I hope you know that it is official that "The 'Publish Your Comment' button only needs to be hit once. Once. Once."
(grin!)
YBIC
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