Profiles In... In... Um... Well... Winning The Future! Yeah, That's It.

Japan has been devastated and nuclear fallout may headed our way. The Mid-East is aflame and the rebellion in Libya is being brutally crushed. America is out-of-work and our nation is broke. We have to bum rides into space from the New Soviets Russians.

But your worries are over, dear readers, because President Obama has made his picks for The Final Four.

Sleep soundly tonight.