Inch By Inch (At A Time), Row By Row, I'm Gonna Make This Church Not Grow.

The Great Helmsperson of The Episcopal Church (tm), Presiding Bishop Katherine Jefferts Schori, was in Dallas yesterday to dedicate a garden. The Dallas Morning News has the story:

Why would the busy, some might say embattled, leader of the 2.4 million-member Episcopal Church travel to Dallas for a 300-member congregation's garden blessing service?

"Well, I was asked," said Presiding Bishop Katharine Jefferts Schori, the first woman to lead the Episcopal Church.

Actually, she would travel to any city because a 300-member congregation is pretty big for an Episcopal Church anymore. We're not like those "breeder" religions, you know.

+Kate then runs through all the hits. First up, the MDG's:

"Coming here to bless a garden, especially at this time in the history of humanity, when we're focused on how the church can be a more proactive voice in caring for the rest of creation, is an important message," she said before the service.

So don't forget your sporks, boys and girls! And make sure to lick 'em clean!

Next, the Current Unpleasantness:

"We're struggling over the appropriate place of gay and lesbian Christians in the church," Bishop Jefferts Schori said, adding that previous eras had seen conflict over integration and the ordination of women priests. "This is simply the issue God has presented us with in this age."

Really? And when did He present you with this issue +Kate? Was a burning bush involved?

And of course, fun with numbers. It is said there are lies, damn lies and statistics. You can put the following in whichever one of those categories you wish:

"We know of about 55 or 60 [congregations] which have had a majority of members decide to leave the Episcopal Church. That's well under 1 percent," she said.

The Episcopal Church (tm) is loosing hundreds of individual members per week, on average, and +Kate talks about loosing "congregations". Skip the wash cycle and go straight to spin. Even the reporter noticed that disparity:

The Diocese of Dallas itself has had departures, including what had been one of the Episcopal Church's larger congregations – Christ Church in Plano.

But worry not, dear readers. There were plenty enough people at the event - Some of +Kate's Fan Club came in from Fort Worth:

Two buses came from Fort Worth, and many of the visitors wore stickers saying, "Fort Worth Episcopalians Honor Katharine."

"We want to make it clear that the Diocese of Forth Worth is not monolithic," said Katie Sherrod, adding that she considers Bishop Jefferts Schori "fabulous."

Quick note to Ms. Sherrod - The Episcopal Church is not monolithic, either. But to dissent against the views and values of The Great Helmsperson and her fellow travellers is to leave oneself open to being tagged with such labels as "abandoning Communion," "homophobe," "thief," "bigot," "misogynist," or a host of other lovingly Christian titles the Left bestows upon those of us who do not believe in scrapping 2,000 years of Christian teaching for a "new thing." And the "fabulous" description of an Episcopal minister seems pretty apropos these days, don't you think?

UPDATE 30APR08: From the Comments - Phil Snyder said that there was a clergy meeting with the Presiding Bishop during the same trip. He attended, and his report is here. Interesting that the Presiding Bishop is basing her entire "new thing" theology - that homosexual practice is no longer a sin - upon the implied relationships in two biblical passages: one in the Old Testament about Jonathan and David's relationship, and another in the New Testament about the Centurion and his slave. So the Presiding Bishop is willing to destroy our Church over an implication based on interpretation. Swell.

UPDATE 02MAY08: This should come as no surprise - the church +Kate visited in Dallas is a "predominately gay parish."