People who come here for the first time often rummage round in the older posts, archives, and subject tags. I encourage them to do so, and hope they return. But considering the current level of interest during the middle of a most uncivil political campaign, I'm beginning to wonder if Charlie Buras is right. So let me put this up front - if you want dirt on your humble blogger, you don't need to spend hours online digging for it.
Save yourself some time and email me. I'll tell you myself.
But I'm afraid you'll be underwhelmed. I've never been arrested, divorced or unfaithful to my wife, and I've never been fired. I'm an Eagle Scout, honorably served in the Army National Guard, active in my church, and I pay my bills. I've had one traffic ticket in 24 years. OK, the story about me and my friend Laurent tearing off mattress tags in D. H. Holmes' in 1969, while his mom bought pillows, is true. As is that time I snuck into Pontchartrain Beach in 1973. And summer school in 1974 - yeah, I had to do that. But I hardly think these rise to the level of scandal.
But not to worry, dear potential inquisitor - if the truth doesn't suit you, I'll be happy to make something up. My life is so devoid of turpitude nobody would believe it anyway, so the opportunity to give my image a bit of secular libertine street cred sounds like fun. Heck, maybe I can swing a book deal. Just one request: twins. There's gotta be twins.
UPDATE: Daver, many thanks for the offer. I'm quite flattered. But I think I can handle it (see this.)