Happy 2009.

And why is it so happy? It's that much closer to November 2012.

Always look on the bright side, I say.

Calling Rolfe McCollister...

Here's a potential new hire that would most certianlly spice up the 'ol Business Report. And, she's here in Baton Rouge!

As an architect, I really like think this site Colleen runs. Not as interesting to the wife as her other editing efforts, though...

You Can Find Anything On The Internet.

Proof.

Blame Hattip: Baton Rouge is the New Brooklyn via (who else) Billy Ockham.

An Inconvenient Investment.

The Church of England's new financial advisor? Al Gore.

I guess they want their accounts to grow at the same rates as their attendance.

Red Stick Rant? We Thought You Were Dead.

Well, like Snake Plissken of Escape From New York fame, I'm not.

I decided to take a few days off, ignore the world, and spend time with the family doing, well, nothing much. Had a great Christmas with my folks, and a couple days later with my wife's family. In the interim I have been puttering about house, watching some DVD's (Lordy, I LOVE Blu-Ray), getting up way late, and staying up way late playing video games with the kids. Plus, in eight days I'll be 50. So I am trying to make the best of the last few days before, according top my daughter, I become "REALLY OLD!"

WARNING: Those who know my true identity and attempt to send me a box of these on 7 January, know that I got one of these on 22 December and have been spending a lot of my off time practicing with it. You know how grumpy old people get...

Speaking Truth To Newsweek, Or, Whatever Happened To "Separation Of Church And State?"

The Washington Post (yes, really) has this take down of this recent Newsweek cover story pushing the secular pop theology of +Kate Schori and the The Episcopal Church (tm). It wasn't really hard:

In truth, of course, Meacham and Miller actually know what everyone else knows: The Bible offers no support for homosexual marriage. Christianity teaches love, mercy, and forgiveness for those who do bad things, true enough. Look, for example, at the story in the Gospel of John where Jesus offers his divine love, mercy, and forgiveness to a woman guilty of adultery. He shamed those who would stone her. He taught us all that we are sinners and often hypocrites. And then he told her, "Go and sin no more." He did not reinterpret the Old Testament to proclaim adultery another life-style choice.

Read it all.

Why is it that those who most loudly scream "separation!" when Faith intrudes on society, are the same ones most loudly screaming "inclusion!" when society intrudes on Faith?

A Seasonal Illustration of "Living In Tension."

See - naughty, AND nice:



(Image shamelessly ripped off from Theo.)

The Messiah Is Not A Crook.

Think of all the national nightmarish years we could have avoided back in the 1970's if Richard Nixon had only done something like this:

Obama team probe of Obama team finds no Obama team impropriety.

And the Mainstream Media's reaction to this self-exculpation? Well, it ain't exactly Woodward and Bernstein. Notice how this Reuters report tries to imply in the lede that was the Federal prosecutors who cleared Obama by making no mention of who authored the "internal report":

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - President-elect Barack Obama and a top aide have been interviewed by prosecutors investigating Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich, but an internal report released on Tuesday cleared them of any wrongdoing.

And only a passing reference to "incoming White House attorney Greg Craig" later in the piece. You have to read the Reuters article carefully to determine who issued the report clearing Team Obama, because nowhere does it state directly that it was authored by Team Obama.

I strongly suspect we have four more years of this kind of thing ahead of us.

Remember This Day, Dear Readers...

...'Cause I don't think I'll ever say this again. New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin is right:

The mayor said the Federal Emergency Management Agency, which is supposed to reimburse the city for the cost of returning public facilities to their pre-disaster level of operation, has provided less than half of what the city thinks is due for work on the city-owned theater.

Such underpayment for recovery projects, which has fueled ire between city and federal officials for more than three years, remains rampant, and the federal agency doesn't seem to care, Nagin said.

"I had FEMA in my office yesterday and almost, kind of, threw them out," the mayor said. "They're just not aggressively helping us."

A FEMA official who attended that meeting, however, told a different story.

As one who has personally sat through more than a few FEMA meetings, I believe Nagin's version. When Ray Nagin and his operation are more credible, reliable, effective than you are, I'd say you have a problem. A big one.

1.5 More Shopping Days Left Distraction.

Yep.

Laurinda Is Running!

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
December 22, 2008
CONTACT:
Bob Munson
225-921-9739


Calongne Announces Candidacy For State Senate

BATON ROUGE - Laurinda Calongne today announced her intention to run for the State Senate in District 16.

Calongne will hold a formal announcement January 18, 2009.

“After a great deal of thought and consideration, and the support of countless friends and supporters, I’m excited to announce my candidacy for the State Senate,” said Calongne. “I’m a businesswoman. I see challenges and I respond to them practically and effectively. We have serious challenges ahead. The economy, healthcare and education are three of the biggest. Those happen to be my areas of expertise and I believe I can help our community and our State create practical and effective solutions to these challenges.”

Calongne, a Republican, is the founder and CEO of Robert Rose Consulting in Baton Rouge. The firm has received national recognition for its work in health care, education and business.

Before starting her company, Calongne served on the Council on Graduate Medical Education in the Administration of President George W. Bush. She represented all teaching hospitals in the United States to the Presidential Council and to the United States Congress. In 2002, Governor Mike Foster appointed Calongne to the Louisiana Health Works Commission where she helped identify sources of funding for Healthcare in Louisiana.

In addition to her business accomplishments, Calongne has had over ten years of clinical and management

experience in the healthcare industry, and held an adjunct faculty position at Louisiana State University for five years.

“My experience speaks for itself,” said Calongne. “But I know that politics takes more than just a resume. I’ve got to let the voters know who I am as a real person – a wife, a mom, a businesswoman. Voting for someone takes trust. My job as a candidate is to earn that trust.”

Calongne said she is in the process of putting together her campaign team and a formal announcement will be held January 18 of next year.

Um, OK...

This weekend I got Tagged - not once, but twice - and I'm told I have to reply or body parts start to shrivel and fall off or something. (As a cradle Episcopalian male I can't afford even the slightest, um, well...) So here goes:

The rules:

1. Link to the person who tagged you. Check.
2. Post the rules on your blog. Here they are. Check.
3. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them. Check - see below.
4. Let each person know they've been tagged and leave a comment on their blog. Check.
5. Let the tagger know when your entry is up. Check.
6. Write six random things about yourself:

1. My iTunes purchases in the last week: Handel's 'Messiah' (London Philharmonic and Choir), and 'Do You Remember Rock N' Roll Radio?' (The Ramones).

2. My wife looks remarkably like my favorite 'Dr. Who' femme.

3. I cried when the Red Sox won the World Series in 2004.

4. In the great 7.62mm vs. 5.56mm debate, I'm decidedly in the 7.62mm camp.

5. I think Frank Gehry is overrated.

6. I've eaten, and enjoyed, antelope, ostrich, turtle, emu, bison, rattlesnake, and alligator.

And the RSR victims Tagged are: Matthew, Perpetua, Underground Pewster, CMR, Baby Blue, Ontario Emperor.

'Anonymous' Proves My Point.

Last week, I put up this open letter to Bishop Charles Robinson, in response to his comments about the disputes in The Episcopal Church(tm). My post was not hostile, shrill or impolite, nor did it engage in invective or ad homonym attacks. My questions were specific. I was, if you will, "inviting him into a deeper conversation." (Did I actually expect him to answer? Well no, not really. I'm a nobody to him; I just wanted my two cents in this "dialogue.")

But one "Anonymous," who apparently hails from New Orleans (one can learn all sorts of things from an IP address... - ed.) thought it necessary to post a comment. And suffice it so say that "Anonymous" doesn't seem to do that "living in tension" thing at all well:

Yes, of COURSE there's room Mr. Ranting idiot, BUT not much for the intolerant like yourself. You seem stuck in the Dark Ages with your questions. Grow up and into the 21st Century.....I double-dog dare you. I not only think Robertson's statement was elegant, I'm quite sure he was doing his job. The Episcopal Church - and many others for that matter reflect the greater society on this earth which is changing. This church is progressive, yet in a conservative way, I LOVE it. Good luck getting any comments on "your side" of narrowmindedness....

Thank you, "Anonymous," for that reasoned, learned, and loving example of Episcopal tolerance. I should want to stay in communion because...?

In Teh Beginnin...

Proof that there are people out there with way, way too much time on their hands: the LOLcat Bible Project. To wit:

GENSIS 1
Boreded Ceiling Cat makinkgz Urf n stuffs

1 Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.

2 Da Urfs no had shapez An haded dark face, An Ceiling Cat rode invisible bike over teh waterz.

3 At start, no has lyte. An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.4 An Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stuffs, An splitted teh lite from dark but taht wuz ok cuz kittehs can see in teh dark An not tripz over nethin.5 An Ceiling Cat sayed light Day An dark no Day. It were FURST!!!1

For those unfamiliar, 'LOLcat' is an Internet phenomenon where a picture, usually of a cat, is paired with a sentence or two in a barely comprehensable lingo (for us old farts, anyway - ed.) combining 'texting' shorthand and urban slang. (More here.)

The Episcopal Church (tm) has something similar. It's the combination of left-wing secular theology and post-modernist slang into a barely comprehensible lingo called 'LOLkate'. Here's a recent example.

The Messiah And The Martyr. (UPDATED)

Barack Obama has picked Rick Warren, the evangelical preacher who supported California's Prop 8 to ban gay marriage, to give the invocation at his Inauguration.

I'll wager somebody in New Hampshire has his mitre in a knot.

UPDATE 22DEC08: Seems I was right:

Bishop Robinson had been an early public endorser of Mr. Obama’s candidacy, and said he had helped serve as a liaison between the campaign and the gay community. He said he had called officials who work for Mr. Obama to share his dismay, and been told that Mr. Obama was trying to reach out to conservatives and give everybody a seat at the table.

“I’m all for Rick Warren being at the table,” Bishop Robinson said, “but we’re not talking about a discussion, we’re talking about putting someone up front and center at what will be the most watched inauguration in history, and asking his blessing on the nation. And the God that he’s praying to is not the God that I know.”

In other words, Rick can sit at the table; just STFU. As a personal aside, Bishop, I do not mind you being at the table, either. But we're not talking about a discussion, we're talking about someone (you) front and center demanding I must endorse a lifestyle contrary to Scripture. And the God you are praying to is not the God I know.

People Unclear On The Innovation.

Some of the disaffected one-half of one percent of The Episcopal Church (tm) - you know, the ignorant clods who cling to bigotry and hate and don't read The New York Times - sent in some letters which Episcopal Life Online printed. For comedy relief, no doubt. First up, one Janine Taylor Bryant of Oklahoma City wants to turn back the clock to the first century:

'DESIGNER CHURCH'
With all the letters on Father [John] Butcher's "speed bump" issue on the creed, here be another.

We are no longer a liturgical church -- we are a designer church. We are a salad-bar church, a build-your-own blend of hymnody, prayer sources and unraveling liturgical core.

That is a recipe for disaster. It was for the followers of Arius, and it will prove to be for us. Even John Wesley, who never intended a Methodist Church, had one start under his ministry, and he insisted on a liturgical rule based on the BCP of his day. The worship tradition of that church (in which I grew up) is a factor that drove me away. I found solidity in the Episcopal Church instead of goofy innovation and very poor liturgics.

That is the future of the Episcopal Church if we don't get back to our roots, and the Nicene Creed is intrinsic to those roots.

And right after that judgmental side-splitter, one John H. Campbell, of Pittsburgh (so we strongly suspect he is currently in a cult), completely misses the point of The Episcopal Church (tm). He thinks it has to do with some kind of salvation:

CREEDS OKAY
In his August 1 letter "Creeds are lacking," the Rev. John Beverly Butcher uses the fact that "… the creeds speak of the birth of Jesus and then of his death. There is no mention of the life ... teachings ... the healing power of Jesus" in order to make his point, "The heart of the gospel is missing."

Conversely, I always have used this same observation -- that the life and works of Jesus are summed up by a comma in the creeds -- specifically to illustrate that Christ's atoning death and his birth (without which there could be no death) are precisely the heart of the gospel. Teachings and healings or not, we are all deserving of hell, and it is only through Christ's death and resurrection that we are saved. I see no defect in the creeds as written.

If these people were smart enough to subscribe to the House of Bishops/Deputies Listserv, they'd learn that the Creeds are sooo yesterday. I mean, they never mention the Baptismal Covenant once!

Bobby Jindal On Why He Is Not An Episcopalian.

From a this Newsweek article about our Governor, his Faith, and his "100 percent" opposition to abortion":

"If I wanted the aesthetics without the inconvenient morality," he wrote in 1998, "I could become Episcopalian."

Ouch.

Hattip: +Jerry.

Fun with Google, Or, This Has Gotta Piss Off Somebody At FEMA.

Google "things to know when dealing with FEMA", and this humble blog comes in at... Number Five!

From this blogger's experience the main thing to know when dealing with FEMA is this: FEMA is so divorced from reality that reality went into hiding and took out a restraining order. Plan accordingly.

On The Road Again....

Been out of town at site meetings today. More bloggy goodness after dinner.

Where I'll Be Tonight At 8:00PM (7:00PM Central).

Watching BBC America, of course:



If you're not a Top Gear regular, something is seriously wrong with you.

Theo Spark links to some great Top Gear bloopers. Watch 'em all.

What Hollywood Won't Tell You About Actor Gary Sinise.

But you should know.

I Need A Bailout.

In eager anticipation of that multi-million dollar bailout I asked for, we've put a DONATE button on the sidebar so Congress can send along the cash with a minimum of fuss. But if you, dear readers, also feel moved to send wads of cash in appreciation, well, who are we to turn it down? We don't want to be impolite.

And so you don't feel like you are completely wasting your hard-earned jack on us, note that we will give 25% of all donations to Saint Luke's, Baton Rouge, Honduras Mission Fund, and 25% to our friend Doug Ritter's Equipped to Survive Foundation, Inc.

UPDATE 14DEC08: It doesn't have to be wads of cash, dear readers; small amounts are equally appreciated.

An Open Letter To The Rev. Charles Robertson.

Dear Rev. Robertson:

In this recent Richmond Times-Dispatch article, you said, "there is room within The Episcopal Church for people with different views and we regret that some have felt the need to depart from the diversity of our common life in Christ."

Therefore, sir, I ask you the following concerning that diversity:

Is there room in The Episcopal Church for someone who believes that Scripture is the revealed Word of God and that we should live according to His Word?

Is there room in The Episcopal Church for someone who believes that Jesus Christ willingly suffered and died for our sins, and was actually raised from the dead?

Is there room in The Episcopal Church for someone who believes that the Creeds are still a sufficient and relevant statement of Faith, to be thoroughly believed, and to deny them is to deny the Faith?

Is there room in The Episcopal Church for someone who believes that The Great Commission calls us to bring the Good News of Jesus Christ to others, and we should not be ashamed or hesitant to share it with them?

Is there room in The Episcopal Church for someone who believes that the Sacrament of the Lord's Supper is the property of those who have accepted Christ, and none other?

Is there room in The Episcopal Church for someone who believes that John Spong's writings are heretical, nihilistic pop-theology?

Is there room in The Episcopal Church for someone who believes that the Millennium Development Goals are a trendy, feel-good distraction, and have no bearing on our Faith?

Is there room in The Episcopal Church for someone who believes that homosexual practice, and heterosexual practice outside of marriage, are incompatible with Scripture and therefore a sin?

Is there room in The Episcopal Church for someone who believes that lifestyles incompatible with Scripture and sinful make one ineligible for ordination?

Is there room in The Episcopal Church for someone who believes that the ordination of women is an innovation at odds with Church tradition?

Your prompt and unequivocating answers would be greatly appreciated.

Hattip: Christopher Johnson at The Midwest Conservative Journal.

Meanwhile, Over At Theo's...

...Some wonderful posts:

The answer, with photographic proof, to an age old question.

A product of the Massachusetts criminal justice system gets a taste of his own medicine.

A Canadian car chase.

If you, my dear male readers, are not stopping by Last Of The Few every day, then your life is just not complete.

Fun With Google, Or, This Has Gotta Piss Off Somebody At 815 Second Avenue.

Type in "episcopal church welcomes you" into Google, dear readers, and lo! Number four on the results list is this post I did back in December 2007, which highlights a dandy example of that 'Piskie new thing idea of "radical welcome." RSR is even listed higher in the results than the Diocese of Olympia's website.

People Fear What They Do Not Know...

...And are prone to paranoid, ignorant, and idiotic overreactions because of it. A classic example from Atlanta:

NEWTON COUNTY, Ga. -- The latest case of zero-tolerance at the public schools has a 10-year-old student sadder and wiser, and facing expulsion and long-term juvenile detention. And it has his mother worried that his punishment has already been harsher than the offense demands.

"I think I shouldn't have brought a gun to school in the first place," said the student, Alandis Ford, sitting at home Thursday night with his mother, Tosha Ford, at his side.

Alandis' gun was a "cap gun," a toy cowboy six-shooter that his mother bought for him.

"We got it from Wal-Mart for $5.96," Tosha Ford said, "in the toy section right next to the cowboy hats. That's what he wanted because it was just like the ones he was studying for the Civil War" in his fifth-grade class at Fairview Elementary School.

"It kind of reminded me of the [soldiers'] guns that I was studying," Alandis said, "because I had brought pictures home of the gun and stuff, and that gun that I had reminded me of the revolver" depicted in his textbook.

Tosha said that Wednesday afternoon, after school, "six police officers actually rushed into the door" of their home. "He [Alandis] opened the door because they're police. And then they just kind of pushed him out of the way, and asked him, 'Well where's the gun, where's the real gun?' And they called him a liar... they booked him, and they fingerprinted him."

(Emphasis added.)

My children have been around firearms all their life, and they've known how to shoot since they were each about 8. They respect "guns;" they don't live in fear of them. While my teen-aged daughter is not particularly interested in shooting sports, she does know the bloody difference between a cap gun and a real revolver. If the Newton County Sheriff's Office or the Newton County School System will drop me an e-mail - I'm sure she'd be willing to give you some pointers. (She needs the community service hours.)

The final line of the article says it all:

Innocence of child's play now lost, she says, no matter what the outcome of the case is.

Indeed.

Hattip: Liberty Girl.

Ski Baton Rouge!

It is snowing here in Baton Rouge this morning. In early December. Not a few flakes in the air, but about an inch accumulation at Villa Red Stick, and it's still coming down hard. Will upload some images later.

You were saying, Mr. Gore??

And yes - I intend to ski Independence Park today.

UPDATE: Wasn't kidding, people:

A friend commented that this week Chicago got our corruption and Baton Rouge got their weather. It's a fair trade.

UPDATE: 2-4 inches on the ground at Villa Red Stick. Lost power about 8:30, but our office still has it so we decamped there as it's right next to Independence Park. Off to ski!

UPDATE: Independence Park. Owned!

Big Brother Never Illsoc Inner Party Meeting. Malreported. Goldstien Oldthinkers Thoughtcrime. Minitrue Recdep Unquotes.

When is 1984 not like 1984? When it's like 2008! Read it all smell and the "Victory Coffee," Comrades!

This is the change we've been waiting for??

Blog Of The Day.

Via Murdoc at GunPundit - Gordon Hutchinson, co-author of The Great New Orleans Gun Grab, has a new blog: The Shootist.

Stop by and look around. If you haven't read The Great New Orleans Gun Grab, I recommend you do. Because this happened here. In America. In 2005.

Thank You, God, For Illinois. (UPDATED)

Because now Louisiana doesn't look so bad.

Plus, Huey Long, Earl Long, and Edwin Edwards had style.

UPDATE: More interesting details over at The Volokh Conspiracy - here, and here. Notice that the President-elect and his cronies gets a mention or three. (I'm shocked! Shocked!)

UPDATE: In a related story, Iowahawk has uncovered some pretty damning evidence against the Illinois governor's attempt to "sell" Obama's vacant Senate seat.

Built Bailout Tough.

This says it all:


Send to your Congressman and Senator.

Via Stephen Green at Vodkapundit.

"Oh My Eyes! My Eyes!!"

Matthew has found this classic example of popular music from - wretch! - the 70's, and I challenge you, dear readers, to watch it in it's entirety without chewing off your own leg, or your head imploding. Putting sharp objects out of easy reach might also be advisable:



I'm surprised Robert Heinlein didn't sue the sequins off these folks, 'cause in this video it looks like the Bugs won.

The Best Jeremy Clarkson Car Test Video. Ever.

Also via Theo Spark. Watch it all. One part Blues Brothers, one part Saving Private Ryan:



If American car makers would do this sort of thing on occasion, I don't think they would be in their current condition. Even your humble blogger would want a Ford Fiesta.

30 Seconds Over A Deprived Childhood.

Back when I was a kid in the 60's, my dad had the opportunity to purchase two B-25 Mitchell bombers and several extra engines that had been abandoned at an airfield in Picayune, Mississippi. $2,500, and they were his. $2,500. But my mom said no. (Actually, I think she said my dad was bloody insane.) So we never got to do, this.

Hattip: Theo Spark.

Um, A Question...

We've been told that the Detroit automakers deserve a bailout from you and me because the high price of oil caught them with all these gas-guzzling pickups and SUV's that nobody wanted.

OK...

But gas prices are now at a five year low - and looking like they'll fall further - so why does Detroit still need a bailout?

Just asking.

UPDATE: With gas so low, I'm now looking at getting either this, or this, when I get a new car next year. Think if it as doing my part for the American economy. Besides, I want to make sure that if I get into a collision with some socially-responsible Lefty in a Toyota Prius... I won't even feel it.

Save Money. Live Better. Respond Faster.

If you need help after a disaster who should you call - FEMA, or Wal-Mart? If you said Wal-Mart, you'd be on the road to recovery.

Yet another reason to scrap the Federal Eternal Misery Agency.

The Whatever Creed.

As my Anglican/Episcopal readers know, The Episcopal Church (tm) has it's big General Convention coming up this summer in Anaheim, California, and the leadership of the church is pushing for big changes to make the church more "inclusive and relevant." From a reliable source, here is their proposed re-write of the Apostle's Creed:

More Trust From Smokey The Bear.

Seems like good news - the Department of the Interior appears to be changing it's policy, and will allow people with Concealed Carry Permits to exercise that right in National Parks and National Wildlife Refuges. But only if the Park or Refuge is located in a state with CCW, and your permit is recognized by that state. There are other restrictions, so read the full regulation and discussion.

My only recommendation is they should keep the ban in place for NFL players....

Hattip: Volokh Conspiracy.

Friday Afternoon Distraction II.

"Plaxico Burress" On Gun Safety:



Perhaps they should mandate Eddie Eagle GunSafe® Programs at all NFL training camps...

Hattip: LGF.

Friday Afternoon Distraction.

If George Frideric Handel had been a state employee:

Charles Jenkins To Retire.

Bishop Charles Jenkins, the 10th Bishop of Louisiana, has announced his retirement effective December 31, 2009.

The Bottom Line, Indeed.

Read this. Read it all.

This is why terrorism, and the cult of death that it grows from, must be called for what it truly is and must be destroyed. Before it destroys us.

(Christopher, one of the best things you have ever written. - ed.)

The Democrat Economic Policy, Explained.

Fred Thompson makes it understandable, so take a few minutes to watch it all:



Why he got out of the presidential race last year is beyond me. He's only man who could have beaten Obama.

Agent Smith Goes To Washington.

Senator Harry Reid (D-The Matrix), a leader of the (so-called) party of the people, is relieved he doesn't have to actually, well, smell those people anymore:

"My staff tells me not to say this, but I'm going to say it anyway," said Reid in his remarks. "In the summer because of the heat and high humidity, you could literally smell the tourists coming into the Capitol. It may be descriptive but it's true."

But it's no longer going to be true, noted Reid, thanks to the air conditioned, indoor space.

But even with the air conditioning, Senator, remember the people can still smell you.

Note: for those who don't catch the 'Agent Smith' / 'Matrix' reference, (or didn't watch all of the YouTube clip), it's this:

Agent Smith: "I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can't stand it any longer. It's the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink and every time I do, I fear that I've somehow been infected by it."

Three Points For The Collective Ownership Of The Means Of Production By The Proletariat!

Lenin gets his game on:


Image by gandhiji40.

Tip of the hat to our Blog Of The Day, Village Of Joy.

Tuesday Morning Distraction.

Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog. Watch it all here, or download from iTunes. It's from the people who brought you Buffy the Vampire Slayer, so you know it's gonna be good.

Hattip: Eclectic Amateur, via The Midwest Conservative Journal.

Only Narow-Minded Veggiephobes Will See This As A Problem, Vicar...

A vicar in Sheffield, England, gets in touch with his inner Lambeth to explain away a very, um... difficult turn of events:

A vicar attended hospital with a potato stuck up his bottom - and claimed it got there after he fell on to the vegetable while naked.

While hanging curtains. In his kitchen. Riiiight. (Me, I typically hang the curtains before I go clothing-optional; but that's just me.)

Notice, too, that the attending nurse plays her part by dishing up some Spongian moral relativism:

"But it's not for me to question his story..."

Don't worry, sister - some basic physics can do that. I'm not sure which one's worse here - the act that got him into that predicament, or his lame attempt at an explanation.

Hattip: The Fail Blog.

Monday Afternoon Distraction.

Check how good you are with the old Mk. 1 eyeball.

Now you can see why circular rifle scopes are naturally better than square ones for target aquisition.