The Executive Council of The Episcopal Church (tm) recently met, and passed all sorts of VeryImportantRresolutions(tm). Let's see what they're really all on about by reading this presser and playing the 'Episcopal Church (tm) Team Drinking Game'!
Team One, you take a shot of Crown Royal at the words, 'gender', 'sexual', 'orientation', 'government', 'Millennium Development Goals'.
Team Two, you down the Crown at the words, 'Christ', 'Jesus', 'God', 'Lord', 'evangelism', 'Christian'.
Team One... Ready? Good.
"Gender": Take 4 shots.
"Sexual": That'll be 3 more shots, Team One.
"Orientation": Line up 2 more.
"Government": And 2 more after that.
"Millennium Development Goals": 1 last one, Team One.
That's 12 shots each, Team One. Some of you should probably sit down - you're looking a bit wobbly.
OK, Team Two, now's your chance. You only need 13 shots to take the game, and we're talking a Christian church here, so this should be a cakewalk for you guys.
"Christ": Sorry, no matches.
"Jesus": Awwww... nothing there, either.
"God": Nope. Looking like Team Two is getting a bit parched.
"Lord": And another strike-out.
"Evangelism": Nothing there. Sorry. One last chance, Team Two, but it's an easy one and should puts some points on the board. Ready?
"Christian": ...Nothing! Bad luck Team Two. You've been shut out. Next time you play the church side, Team Two, make sure the church you side with is, like, Catholic.
Well, that concludes this episode of 'Episcopal Church (tm) Team Drinking Game'. Team Two, you will be able to get their money back at the package store for the unopened bottles. Team One, we'll get you some coffee and a ride home.